Hello, Is It Me You’re Looking For?
When our family started on this journey, I wasn't sure how to navigate things. I didn't know where to start, where to turn, who to trust. I was confused, naive at times - and so I turned to the internet and Amazon..
And let me tell you - the internet is a VERY scary place when it comes to self diagnosing a random symptom, and even scarier when you type in the word "transgender". I didn't know what information was valid, and what was just noise - and what I found is there is very little factual info, and the time it took to sort through the info felt like forever.
The truth is, while there is a LOT to learn, the basics are really simple to understand you just make the choice to accept them, or not.
Here are a few things I've learned so far
Privates are private, and should be kept private. I don't go around showing off my privates, do you?
Gender is a spectrum. While my five year old is transgender and identifies as a girl, and ALL things girly, my nine year old is cisgender and could really not be any LESS girly. I'm pretty sure she doesn't own a single dress at this point, and she is completely unimpressed with the full face of makeup she puts on for dance competitions. We all fall on a spectrum.
Transgender people deserve the same respect and acceptance as any other person.
Being transgender is only ONE part of a person. Just as being cisgender is only ONE part of a person.
No I am not giving my five year old hormones.
And no, I am not mutilating my five year old's body.
Sex is who you go to bed with. gender is who you go to bed as. The two are not mutually exclusive.
The more accepting you are to a transgender person (using correct pronouns, using the new name if there is a change, etc.) the less likely they are to harm themselves.
No one wakes up one morning and says "I'm transgender." - it's a process that takes time to realize and understand. Harper was 18 months when we started noticing things, and those things gradually increased over time. Many times kids/teens don't understand what they're feeling and they need time to sort through what's happening for them. This is not an instant epiphany.
As cisgender people we have NO idea what transgender people struggle with everyday. Could you imagine waking up everyday in a body that doesn't feel like yours? As much as gender itself is a spectrum, so is the person that's managing their personal diversity. No two transgender people have the same story, the same journey or the same experience.
My hope is that this blog is a way to help answer the difficult questions. To bring awareness and understanding to a topic that can seem scary and unapproachable. But please know that I am human, too. I feel pain the same as anyone else, as do my girls, as does anyone with a heartbeat.